A Hell To Live In

It's a Hell
to live in everyday
It's the yells, the screams
And the things you say
It's putting me down
When I'm already on the ground
And taking all of my mistakes
To throw them in my face
It's a Hell
To live in everyday
Like all of the hate
Doesn't seem to go away
It's making me feel useless
Like dirt
It's getting enjoyment
In seeing me hurt.

Quiet Rapture

Sometimes I can't find the words I need.

Sometimes I can't say "I Love You" or "Goodbye".

Sometimes the only words that make sense I find in a song.

So, what have I learned?

The year is halfway through and I can't say I've accomplished much.

I've lost more than I've gained (love, friends, self-respect) but I can't really say I regret all that has happened.

Love; never really understood it much. Can't say I've seen it either, not at least in my house. It's always so fleeting. I think I have loved, but I'm not sure if I have ever been in love. With the first one, with my first, with the last and the present. <<God I'm so cryptic>>

For some reason, I discard the ones that would do anything for me, for the ones that I know don't care as much.

As for friends, I don't know if I ever had them to begin with.

And when I talk about self-respect. . . I've done a lot of things I said I would never and became exactly who I always hated.

So, what have I learned?

I'm not sure. Maybe I've grown.

Maybe I've just grown bitter.